Author: Gareth
Series: The Dawnmeister Chronicles
Summary: A series of Dawn's diary entries from the Summers' second year in Sunnydale.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Season Two only apart from the existence of Dawn
Archive: List Archives are welcome to it, other people please ask.
Distribution: Sure, as long as you keep this header intact.
Feedback: Hell yeah :) I don't want to churn loads of stuff out then find out you all think it's crap :) Send to feedback[at]lostscrolls.net
Disclaimer: Dawn and co are all owned by one Joss Whedon. A prize to the first person to find the second Joss Whedon.
Notes: Although strictly speaking this shouldn't be on this list, I'm claiming the 'OT' tag in the heading lets me off ;) The second of four shorts looking at events of the first four seasons through Dawn's eyes.
Dear Diary,
Oh shit. Oh shit. I dunno if its obvious how much I'm shaking as I write this. He was here! He was here in my room! My sister's gruesome evil pervert vampire of an ex-boyfriend was in my room, while I slept. He left the picture to prove it. And now I've sworn in my diary. I have never ever used that word before, but...
It's like... that stupid preppy cheerleader captain at Hemery who used to try and win arguments with Buffy by just throwing her arms out and shouting "Emotional Overload!". Emotional Overload! I get that now. That's the best I can think of to describe this. This is an emotional overload. I have never been so terrified. He was here. He sat beside me, watching me sleep. He drew a picture of me, to make sure I knew.
It's not the first time he's drawn me. Well, it is and it isn't. I still don't understand this whole soul/no soul thing. At Christmas, Angel drew me... that is, Angel who still had a soul drew me. Now he's lost his soul people call him Angelus. Well, Buffy doesn't, she still calls him Angel. Everyone else does though. Anyway, he drew me then. It was a Christmas present. Willow had been messing around with me and getting pictures of me with her webcam, and he drew me from them. It was a beautiful picture. I loved it. Mom loved it. Buffy... I think Buffy was jealous. His present to her was good, but she wanted to be drawn. Back then it wasn't creepy. I didn't know he was a Vampire then. I didn't find that out until after I found out about Buffy. So by the time I found out, he'd lost his soul too.
Writing this all down is good. It's calming me. It's...what's that word...therapeutic. I don't know if you spotted it but I did have to stop to look that up in the Websters that Willow got me at Christmas. And I know I've written this in here twice before but I'm gonna go over how I found out about Buffy's extra-caric- extra-corri- dammit I can't look up a word again...Buffy's hobby. Well, I guess it isn't a hobby really. More like a lifestyle. It's kinda cool, it involves my sis kicking major demon butt, and if I stop writing instead I'll start freaking again.
Me and Jilly were shopping at the mall. I'd been late choosing Buffy's birthday present, so we were there trying to pick something out. Mom was really good about it, she said we could stay as late as it took to choose so long as we phoned her every hour. We picked Buffy's present real quick, but we figured no one would know if we decided to stay late anyway and try on clothes.
It was nearly closing time, but the stores were all still pretty crowded. We were in a jewellery store, trying to persuade the clerk to let us try on the gold necklaces. That was Jilly's idea of course, I'm not that preppy. There was this funny light outside the store, and everyone we could see outside stopped moving. By the time I got outside to look (while Jilly was being a silly fraidycat at the back of the store) the light had gone and people were just walking around in a daze.
Up on the steps at one end of the mall there was this blue monster. I guess I should call him a demon. Not any cool blue either. He was Smurf blue. If he didn't have an evil face I guess people woulda just laughed at him. Halfway down the mall, facing off with Monster Smurf, was my sis with a rocket launcher on her shoulder. I don't remember exactly what she said, but once she'd said it, she fired the rocket launcher. BOOM! My sister made the Smurf into barbecue nuggets.
But you know all that, don't you diary. And you know how my sister wasn't really happy about me being there. And how she made me promise not to tell Mom. And all the crap about her being the Slayer and having to do all the killing demons stuff and how this didn't mean that I could run around with her trying to stake Vampires. What I haven't written in before, is how I've now thought about this for a bit, and how a lot of the weird stuff that has been going on recently now makes a lot more sense.
Like it explains why I have those weird memories of wandering around just as a skeleton at Hallowe'en. Not that I think it was all Buffy's fault, but I'm sure it was to do with Slayer-type stuff. And all that stuff with Xander and Cordelia, when they ran into the basement while I was in my hidey place down there. You already know about the whole thing about me seeing them kissing, but now I've worked out that they were down there in the first place because they were hiding from demon type things. I really don't know how I managed to keep my cool all the time they were panicking, I guess I was just really scared they'd be angry if they found me down there, particularly after all the kissing.
I can hear Buffy awake next door now. I'm gonna go tell her about the picture. Back later.
D x
Well, it seems I'm not the only one in emotional overload here. In fact, Buffy freaked out more than me. I think. She tried being brave big sis and telling me not to worry, and that she'd see to it that things were sorted out, but I could tell she was terrified. I don't understand why she can't just go and put a stake in Angel or Angelus or whatever he's called. That would solve the problem. Buffy says its not that simple. I think she thinks they can find a way to make Angel how he was before. Although from how she looked when I told her about the picture, maybe now she will try the stake thing.
She wants me to stay at Jilly's tonight, but I don't like that idea. It might seem crazy, but I figure this is where I live. I'd rather stay here and be awake all night cuz I'm scared than run away. When I told Buffy that, she smiled and kissed me on the forehead and muttered something about me being a typical Summers girl. I think that was meant to be a good thing.
I should get to school. This whole daylight thing is good, I want to go out in it knowing I'm safe from the Vampires. More this evening.
Dawn x
Things haven't gotten any better. Willow's staying here tonight too. Angelus killed her fish and left them in an envelope for her to find. She's quite upset but she's not showing it. We're having a big sleepover thing in Buffy's room - I can't believe Buffy let me join them, but I guess she's worried about me. Mom knows there's something going on but I don't know how much Buffy has told her. Willow and Buffy are chatting a lot at the moment. I'm just sitting in the corner quietly listening in and hoping they'll forget I'm here while I write this.
Some of the stuff that's been going on is quite sad. Willow was telling me about Giles and Miss Calendar earlier. Miss Calendar is Willow's computer teacher, who's also into Witchcraft and everything. From what Willow has said in the past, I think that really Miss Calendar teaches Willow about Witchcraft, and that Willow teaches Miss Calendar about computers, cuz Willow is so clever. I'm sure she knows stuff about computers that no one else does.
Anyway, Willow was saying how Giles and Miss Calendar are sorta in love. Only they've both done things to make each other really angry. Miss Calendar got possessed by a demon and that was somehow Giles' fault. Willow tried explaining that bit but I was a bit too freaked out at the idea to listen properly. So Miss Calendar was angry with Giles for a long time. Then Giles and Buffy got angry with Miss Calendar cuz of how she knew that Angel could lose his soul but didn't tell them. I think I'm with them on that one. I bet Miss Calendar doesn't wake up to find pictures of her by her bed. Not ones drawn by a scicottic - that doesn't look right, I'll ask Willow about it - psychotic Vampire, anyway.
Willow says that Miss Calendar is doing her best to make things up to Buffy and Giles, which is good. She's even trying to work out how to give Angel back his soul. That's good, although I don't see why she should have to work it out. If she knew about the curse thing or whatever it is, she shoulda learned how the spell works before now. I don't get this love thing. I mean, I know its sweet and stuff, but if they're in love why are they angry at each other? It's too much like the stuff with Mom and Dad. Miss Calendar should just put Angel right, then Giles will be happy with her and they can do the in love thing, and Angel will be right, so him and Buffy can go back to doing the in love thing.
And I definitely don't get the Xander and Cordelia thing. That's just gross. Cordelia is a bit- a nasty person. She's always mean to people. Well, not exactly mean, she just doesn't think about what she says before she says it. I'm old enough to know that we all think mean things sometimes, but mostly we don't say them. Cordelia does every time. There must be much better girls out there who Xander could take an interest in. I know if I was older and I wanted to I could make him interested in me. He's so much cooler than all the boys in my class.
And Willow is with Oz. Oz is in a band and is possibly one of the coolest people on the planet. Not in the same boy way that Xander is cool, Oz is just cool. He's not afraid to just talk to me. All the others, even Willow, they all talk to me like I'm different, cuz they think I'm still a kid. Oz just talks. He doesn't talk much, but when he does, I'm a grown-up. He's a Werewolf too. No one's actually told me that, but I've noticed how he always goes missing around full moons. And there's no way anyone's gonna convince me that Werewolfs don't exist if Vampires do. If one monster exists, they all do. Not sure if that means Santa Claus exists really or not. I'm not sure he's quite in the same league.
It's time to go to sleep now. Or at least time to try and sleep. I think I'm too scared to sleep tonight. I think Willow is too. Buffy's never scared of anything, but somehow I don't think she'll sleep well either.
D xxx
A lot has happened today, diary. I didn't sleep well last night. There was one time when I woke up - it could've been a dream, but I think it really happened - I remember seeing Angel-Angelus standing by Buffy's bed. He was watching her. I don't know how long he was there, but he put an envelope by her bed and then walked back out of the room. As he walked past me he whispered 'Good night Dawnie'. He knew I was awake and had been watching him, even though my eyes were tightly shut when he walked past me. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. Then after that I was definitely awake. I was awake for a long time. Then I went to sleep. When Buffy woke me up she was upset. He'd drawn a picture of Mom asleep. That scared me more than the picture of me did.
Then Buffy came to see me during lunch break. She said that Giles had found out a way to stop Angelus from coming into the house - to remove the invitation. You know, all the stuff how a Vampire can't come into your house unless he's invited? Well he only needs to be invited once. Taking the invite away isn't as easy as inviting him in, but Giles has found out how to do it. She said I'd be able to sleep easy tonight and she gave me a hug. Buffy never hugs me - not proper hugs like that - it was strange. She told me Willow would be visiting again this evening to fix it.
That's all happened now, and so has a very interesting conversation between Mom and Buffy in Buffy's room. I could hear it from my room - one of those times when you really know you shouldn't be listening but can't stop. If I'm right about what Buffy was saying, then she and Angel did it. You know, It. The really big It that I'm not supposed to know about. Mom's really not happy. She should be, she doesn't know about the drawings, and she doesn't know Angel's a Vampire. I shouldn't really be listening, I should be downstairs with Willow. But this has never happened before. I'd never even thought that Buffy might... No, I don't think I want to write any more about it. It's strange, it's weird, and it's gross.
I think I just heard Giles stop by. I hope he's going to sort things out with Miss Calendar. Willow did say that she thought things were better between them today. Giles is a nice man, and if they can just stop being angry with each other, I'm sure they can work it out. I've never met Miss Calendar but Willow makes her sound nice. And Giles should be happy. If someone can be happy today, maybe it's not so bad. I'm gonna go and keep Willow company now, so I'll say good night. I won't be writing anything later, I want to enjoy sleeping in a safe house. Good night, dear diary.
Dawn xx