the bunny warren v. Faith

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Bunnies Aren't Just Cute Like Everybody Supposes

Author: Venus Blue
Written: November of 2001
Summary: Anya comes to terms with her fears.
Rating: R for drug usage
Spoilers: Erm…the only spoiler I can see is the title.
Feedback: Yes please.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the strangest collection of stuffed animals ever. Joss and company own Anya, her fears, and her quirks.
Warning: Drug Usage. Also…I’m not really sure how to describe the Anya/Bunnies scene except to say…kinda vicious. I’ve never written anything like this before, and I must say…I enjoyed it. Heh.
Distribution: I have no problems with distribution as long as I'm asked first.
AN: This is in response to Crazyevildru’s challenge. I’m the Green Bunny Goddess, how can I turn that one down?
Awards: , View 2nd Award, View 3rd award

Anya was frozen. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t cry out for help.

She stared at the horrible monstrosity in front of her, her lip quivering, tears coming to her eyes.

"X-X-Xander…Xander, where are you?!" she screamed finally. The creature looked at her quizzically.

Xander came through the clearing then, and asked, "What is it?"

"Th-th-there. Over there!"

Xander followed her gaze, and sighed.

"Anya…it’s a wild rabbit. It’s not going to hurt you."

"Make it go away! Please!"

Setting down the picnic basket containing their lunch, Xander quietly walked over to where the small brown bunny was resting. It looked up at him, obviously not caring much that he was there, then nonchalantly hopped away.

Sitting down next to his beloved, he pulled her hands from the blanket, where they were tightly clenched.

"Ahn…honey, it’s gone."

"B-but there could be more. There could be more out here! We have to go!"

"I’m here now. I won’t let any rabbits get near you."

Falling back into Xander’s arms, he could feel her small body shaking. She curled up in his lap, and said, "I guess this picnic wasn’t such a good idea after all."

Sighing, he lightly stroked her hair and said, "Honey, can I ask you a question?"


"Why are you so terrified of bunnies? I mean, you were a vengeance demon. Let’s face it, bunnies aren’t big with the striking fear into hearts. Especially not the heart of someone who can eviscerate someone with the blink of an eye."

Sighing, Anya looked up at Xander and said, "I don’t really like to talk about it."

"Well, if I’m going to be your husband, don’t you think I should know?"

She wanted to say no. She was desperate to refuse. But she realized she needed to tell him. He’d told her about his fear of clowns and polyester, and she hadn’t even touched on her fear. It was just so painful…

"Alright. I guess you need to know…"



"Where IS this girl?!" Anyanka wondered. She’d been wandering around this damned music festival for the last hour, trying to find the scorned woman whose pain had called out to her. Normally, she could find someone in an instant. But there were so many people…and so much noise.

Glancing up at the stage, she watched as the performers on stage crooned out another mindless song.

Shaking her head, she turned to look ahead of her and ran into a group of young people.

"Hey, man, watch out," one of them said, in a very spacey manner.

"Get out of my way," she hissed, not wanting to waste her time with unnecessary mortals. The show was nearly over, and she wanted to find the girl quickly.

"Aw, man, cool out. It’s alright. Have a seat. Hendrix will be on in a few. You don’t want to miss his big finish."

"I’m not interested in the concert! I’m trying to find someone!"

"But it’s Jimi, man. Jimi’s God."

"Uh-huh," Anyanka said, trying to zone them out and concentrate on the woman’s energies.

"Come on, chica. Here, want something to level you?"

He held a joint out to her, and she sighed. She wasn’t finding the girl anytime soon. And she’d already exacted revenge on one male that day. She didn’t see a problem in taking a little break.

Taking the marijuana cigarette from the young male, she took a quick hit, fighting to keep from coughing as the harsh smoke entered her lungs.

"There you go. Come on, sit down."

Sitting down on the blanket, Anyanka curled her bell bottom-clad legs underneath her and rested her arms behind her.

The young woman on the other side her, who looked like she could use a good bath, held out a small sugar cube to her.

"Expand your mind, man."


She examined the cube for half a second. she wasn’t sure exactly why she was being offered a clump of sugar, but when in Rome…

Placing the sweet lump onto her tongue, she crunched it up, and swallowed it quickly.

They watched her curiously, then turned to continue watching the show.

As her body relaxed from the affects of the joint, she lay back on the blanket, letting the music pour into her ears.

When the set ended, she heard people clapping, and she opened her eyes.

Above her, leering over her with a sinister grin and huge beady red eyes, was the largest and most vile looking creature she’d ever seen. It had long pointy ears, greenish fur, and huge sharp teeth.

Screaming, she jumped from the blanket. The others turned to look up at her, and one of the males said, "Uh-oh. She’s having a bad trip."

The demonic rabbit leered at her, and said, "What’s up…doc?"

Now thoroughly terrified, she ran, tripping over patrons as they lounged on their blankets.

"What’s your problem, chick?" a girl asked, dodging her as she tried to run straight through her.

She slapped the young woman, then turned back to see where the bunny was. It was RIGHT BEHIND HER!

Thoroughly freaked now, she spun around, getting very very confused and feeling nauseous.

She closed her eyes, wishing with all her might that the rabbit would be gone when she opened them again.

Cautiously, she cracked her eyelids open, and saw not one, but FOUR RABBITS! All with the same leery grin, except different colors now.

The pink one stroked her ears menacingly and said, "I’m hungry."

Frozen to the spot, Anyanka could only cower in fear.

The large, muscular blue one said, "You’re always hungry. You got the last one. This one’s mine!"

The lean yellow bunny slapped him out of the way and said, "No, way. Go eat a carrot."

They argued for awhile, then the original green one slapped them all away.

"I saw her FIRST!" and with that final word, the demon rabbit lunged for her. Anyanka fell to the ground, clawing at the bunny with her fingers. Nothing seemed to work. She could feel the rabbit’s razor-sharp incisors digging into her flesh, trying to devour her. She screamed as she felt the other rabbits tearing at her legs and arms, and finally she fell limp, blacking out.


"When I finally woke up, I was in some sort of tent with all these other hippies. I couldn’t understand WHY there were no bite marks, and no one would believe me that these huge bunnies had attacked me!"

Xander had been silent through the entire story, just letting her talk. Finally, he looked into Anya’s eyes and let the peals of laughter escape his throat.

"It’s not FUNNY! I could’ve been really hurt!"

Still laughing, he lay back on the blanket, holding his aching stomach as the tears of laughter rolled down his cheeks.

With a loud huff, Anya stood up and walked away from the blanket.

"You’re so mean, Xander!"

Still laughing, Xander reached into the basket and pulled out a sandwich.

God, he loved that woman.

No matter how insane she was.

~ The End

**Terms of the Challenge:

Things to Include:
-complete explanation for why Anya hates bunnies
-one of the gang finding out and reacting to it (can be now or past, like if she knew spike before???)
-a bunny
-bonus points for a period piece (flashback?)

-SMUT makes me happy!
-and did I mention smut?
–Xander **

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