Author: Adam Windsor
Disclaimers
Legal: All characters are (c) Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy and probably a whole mess of other people. No infringement of copyright is intended.
Archive: Mailing lists, go right ahead. Anyone else, yes, but please let me know.
Spoilers: Up to the end of Season 2 Angel
Summary: Silliness inspired by the rampant slashy subtext of Angel: the Series.
Rating: R (MPAA)

Sometimes, Cordelia felt like the only straight person left in "L-Gay".

First it was Wesley and Gunn revealing their clandestine romance. No surprise there; her gay-dar had been pinging steadily ever since all that late night 'bonding' they'd done. And it didn't worry her in the slightest. It had even been kinda sexy, since y'know, Wes and Gunn hot monkey sex was pretty hot in the fantasy stakes.

Lindsey coming back and declaring his burning desire for Mr Tall, Dark and Broody was a surprise, but she could cope. She could even deal with his sudden preference for summer dresses and spelling his name with an "a". But if he 'borrowed' any of her clothes again ...

So all the boys had paired off, which left a girl feeling kind of out in the cold. All these hunky men around and not a sniff of action for her. And she knew she was sexy, dammit.

Still, she could have coped.

But then they'd finally tracked down Darla and Dru, only to discover that the age old cliche of vampire lesbians was alive and well and snuggling topless on the couch. She was sure she would be scarred for life by *that* little incident, thank you.

Of course, the two vamps' secret wasn't that big a surprise; they were *demons* after all. And she supposed she should have seen the Kate and Faith thing coming, too. The detective did kinda have a butch air to her, and everyone knew Faith was the uber-whore.

But Lilah and *Harmony*? Who would ever have known that the lawyer liked her lovers blonde, dumb and female? For that matter, since when had Ms "No Threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl" swung that way? Guess she'd found an acceptable alternative to Charlize Theron after all.

But Cordelia Chase was straight. Oh yes. She was. Circumstances might have forced her to take desperate measures, but she liked *boys*. Really.

Her lover stirred at her side, opened sleepy eyes to regard her with surprise.

"Cor? You're still awake? Everything OK?"

"I'm just thinking. Go back to sleep."

Well, at least 'Fred' was a boy's name.