AUTHOR: Ragna
RATING: PG
CLASSIFICATION: Xander/Spike/Buffy/Willow road trip.
SUMMARY: A now human Spike goes to see the devastation he helped make at Sunnydale when he saved the world.
SPOILERS: Set about five years after A:tS season 5. Tiny mention of events in "Shells."
DISTRIBUTION: Any sites with my fic up; you all have unspoken permission. I write it, you can post it. Everyone else just keep my name on it and let me know.
DISCLAIMER: If you don't recognize it, chances are it's my own creation. If you do, I don't own it. Joss Whedon, Kazui Sandollar, The WB, UPN, et. al. most likely do. What bits of the song used are "99 Luftballoons" by Nena.
FEEDBACK: Please send it offlist and let me know it's feedback; I do rapid delete on my account due to a lot of spam.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Went to Challenge In A Can and ended up with "Spike," "lost" and "stereo." For Xander Appreciation Day, May 1st 2004.

"99 dreams I have had, in every one a red balloon."

"Spike, turn the damn song off."

"It's all over and I'm standing pretty in this dust that was a city."

"I mean it, Spike..."

"If I could find a souvenir, just to prove the world was here."

"Damn it, Spike! Shut the stereo off!"

"And here is a red balloon. I think of you and let it go."

Xander suddenly pulled over on the lonely stretch of highway and stopped. He switched off the stereo and turned to look at one of his three passengers. When Willow, Buffy and Xander had made the much surprised visit to the offices of Wolfram & Hart earlier in the month, nearly five years after they'd destroyed The First, the tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a chainsaw.

But it wasn't between Buffy and Angel, or Even Buffy and Spike; the three of them had a private powwow in Angel's office upon arrival and got things straightened out while Xander and Willow chatted with Wesley and a former demon who had taken over the form of one of the employees at W & H.

The tension, it seemed, was between Spike and Xander. Not because of any of their old rivalries. It was plain and simple anger.

Xander, Buffy and Willow realized, was angry because Spike was somehow brought back and Anya was gone forever. And he was angry about that, and there was no one to take it out on except Spike. A human Spike, these days; seemed that he'd earned more than just his existence back.

Spike seemed lost in his own realm of thought. It wasn't until Xander got out and pulled Spike from the car that the former vampire snapped to attention.

"Look, mate, I'm sorry. Didn't know the song would bother you. Thought this was a rather bland CD anyway."

Xander dropped him. It was nearly noon, and Xander was more irritated than he appeared, and Willow could sense it.

"Hey, Xander, want something to drink?"

"No. I don't need another soda."

"Wasn't talking about soda." Willow pulled out a bottle of Southern Comfort from the back of the car where she was sitting. "Let Buffy drive for a while."

Xander opened his mouth to argue, then snatched the bottle from Willow's outstretched hand.

"Can I get some?" Spike asked.

"No," Xander replied through clenched teeth.

"Don't worry, Spike, there's a bottle waiting for you, too," Buffy said, getting out of the back-seat and readjusting her sunglasses. "But not till we hit Sunnydale."

***

"Bloody hell," Spike said, whistling slightly.

Xander sat in the car, nursing his bottle of alcohol, while Buffy, Willow and Spike stood near the abyss.

"You mean to tell me this...chasm...has been here for five bloody years and no one's bothered to come out here and do anything about it?"

"Oh, no. Someone did something about it," Xander yelled from the car. He'd only had the equivalent of two shots of alcohol, so he wasn't drunk, but he didn't want to go see Sunnydale either. "Someone did something."

"What?"

"Bought it." Xander finally got out of the car. "I did. Made some money, bought the whole damn hole. So now I own Sunnydale." He poured some alcohol on the ground near the edge. "In tribute to the most expensive thing I ever bought."

Spike started to say something, but Buffy stepped on his foot. "Why?"

"I didn't want anyone to touch a damn thing. I want to find Anya, if I can. Give her a decent burial." A tear glistened in his eye. "If I can find her. Then I'll sell the place and they can fill it up with concrete for all I care."

Willow nodded and tried to put an arm around his shoulders but Xander shrugged her off and walked away from the others. "Leave me alone."

Spike moved his foot out from under Buffy's and headed after Xander. "Mate..."

"Don't call me mate. Don't talk to me. You gave up your life, so why aren't you still dead? Why did she die?" Xander kept his back to Spike. "Why did you get a second chance?"

"Because I took Angel's place."

"What?"

"Took Angel's place. That necklace was never meant for me; the firm wanted another control over him. Figured if he burst into bloody flame they could bring him back whenever they wanted. And then I got the necklace, and they figured messing with the two of us would be loads more fun."

Xander threw the bottle of alcohol to the ground. Spike could hear Buffy gasp, and was pretty sure the two girls were huddled together slightly. "Waste of some good alcohol, huh?"

"That's right...Xander."

"You know what's really stupid?"

"What?"

"I brought a red balloon." He turned to Spike, holding out a balloon. "And I did it before you ever started playing that damn song."

"Got to say, it's better than roses."

***

An hour later, as the sun set over what was Sunnydale, the four warriors sat on the car and the ground in front of it, huddling in jackets and under blankets, sharing the other bottles of alcohol that had been in the back.

And Xander started to blow up the solitary red balloon he'd brought. When he finished, he tied off the open end. He knew since it wasn't helium filled, it wouldn't go far, but he still whispered, "I think of you and let it go."

And the wind caught the solitary red balloon and carried it over Sunnydale and into the hole.

"Auf wiedersehen, ein luftballoon," Spike said, raising his plastic cup towards the hole. Xander tapped his cup against Spike's and the two men shared a knowing glance.