the bunny warren v. Faith

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So Many Things Ignored

Author: Venus Blue
Written: April 19, 2004
Rating: PG
Summary: Faith works on herself while in prison.
Timeline: Right before Wesley breaks Faith out of prison.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, etc. I am nothing but insignificant lint, blah blah, copyright blah.
Distribution: Lists who archive. Anyone who wants, ask.
Author's Note : Written for Shelley for the livejournal meme wherein people pick icons and I write drabble/fic based on them. This is based on an icon featuring Eliza Dushku as Faith in Salvage, with the caption "Beautiful Disaster".

Faith had learned fast to make alliances with the guards in prison. If you wanted to survive inside, you had to make fast friends with the important people.

They knew she was strong. They knew she wielded power among the husbands, and even more power among the Betty's. She never made a friend among the other women, but after she broke one Bettys arm for trying to make a name by topping her, their were no obvious enemies, either.

So when the entire prison went on lockdown after a riot in the cafeteria, Faith knew who to talk to to get some special priveleges.

The guard who let her out into the yard was new, and didn't really understand why this inmate got away with things the guards would beat another inmate half to death over. But she'd seen the way number 430019 had broken up the riot without any casualties, so she wasn't about to buck the inner system.

Faith entered the yard slowly, raising her head and looking up at the bright sky. It was a pretty day, no clouds in the sky, and it was quiet. She looked over at Benny, the guard who was sitting on one of the tables, his gun resting casually in his lap. He nodded at the radio near the weight set, and said, "Only thing we had was an old tape player. Plays some FM stations, but the reception around here sucks."

"Thanks, Ben."

She walked over to it, and popped the tape out. Looking at it, she shrugged and put it back in, pressing play and going over to the chin bar.

The song was hard, but strangely soothing, and she found herself moving along to the beat of the music. It was one of those rap rock bands that she normally never bothered with, but it was all she had, and it could have been worse.

She stretched, limbering her body up before jumping up and grabbing the bar, hanging for a minute before starting her normal routine.

She'd spent nearly everyday she'd been in prison working on herself. In the beginning, it was all mental. Going over everything she'd done in her life, personal atonement, as she liked to call it. She hadn't gone the route of other women in here, finding God and going to the chapel every Sunday to keep herself from going to hell. Instead, she sat on her bunk at night, having conversations with whatever it was the other girls prayed to. If she was going to hell for what she did, she wanted to have her say first.

Other women in the prison let their minds and their bodies rot away. They got thin and gaunt, or they bullied other prisoners for their food and got fat and lazy. Some did drugs that made them look like they'd been in for decades rather than years. Others subjected themselves to the abuse of stronger women with more say, and ended up covered with bruises for slight infractions.

Once Faith had peace of mind, she worked on her body. She ate the meals they served heartily, despite their lack of flavor. She worked out everyday in the yard, and practiced the fight moves Giles had taught her all those years before in Sunnydale while locked in her tiny cell. She'd scraped up her knuckles more times then she could count by misjudging her steps and hitting the cement walls.

New male guards took one look at her, and thought she was easy prey. Beautiful girl stuck in prison, scared little lamb. Luckily for her, the other guards warned them off pretty quickly, otherwise she'd lose her priveleges for beating on one of their own.

But despite all the work she did on her mind, body, and soul, nothing she did could stop the nightmares at night. The voices in her head, MomBuffyAngelWesley, the visions of blood and carnage.

Beautiful disaster, Benny liked to call her.

Faith thought it fit well.

[The End]

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