the bunny warren v. Faith

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All of Me

Author: Venus Blue
Written: April 19, 2005
Summary: Lindsey returns to the woman he loves, but she doesn't want him back.
Rating: G
Timeline: AU set before Hush in Season 4.
Disclaimer: Joss, Mutant, and Fox own all. I own nothing. Capice?
Distribution: Lists that archive. My site. Anyone who wants, ask.
Author's Notes: Written for Nora for the livejournal meme wherein people pick icons and I write drabble/fic based upon them. This fic is based on a manipulated icon featuring Lindsey and Tara with the caption "You still have all of me".

"Why did you come here?"

Lindsey looked away from the angry blonde, his face contorting in pain as he surveyed her modest dorm room.

"I just...I wanted to see how you're doing. How college life is working for you."

"It's fine," Tara said, fighting to keep her voice calm and her stutter away. "I'm fine. And I don't believe that's why you're here."

He cleared his throat, rocking slightly on the heels of his boots before murmuring, "I miss you."

Tara swallowed roughly, turning from him and walking to her desk.

"You have no right to do this to me. You were the one who lied."

"I didn't-"

"Yes, you did. Don't try to deny it now."

He came up behind her, and Tara spun around.


He put his hand down, and she said, "It's been over a year, Lindsey. A year since I found out what you do for a living. What your law firm wanted to do to me."

"I didn't have any part of that!"

"It doesn't matter!" she cried, cursing herself for getting upset. In a quieter tone, she said, "It doesn't matter. You should have told me what your job was really about, and you didn't. And that's worse than lying."

Lindsey opened his mouth to protest, then closed it. Sitting down on the edge of her bed, he gripped the edges of the mattress and said, "So, what? I have to forget about you? Forget about how much you mean to me?"

Fighting back tears, Tara crossed her arms and looked down at him.

"I'm so tired, Lindsey. So tired of missing you, and loving you. I'm slowly starting to move on, to get on with my life, but I can't do that if you're still around. I wish you would just *leave*."

"You haven't seen me since-"

"That's not what I mean," she said, her voice quivering. "I wish you would leave my mind. No matter how long it's been, your still with me. I'm so alone, but I can't..."

"Please don't cry, Tara," he pleaded, seemingly fighting the urge to stand. "I can't stand to see you cry, I never could."

"Well, I don't have much choice in that," she laughed bitterly. "It's a woman thing."

He stood then, moving slowly to her. She turned from him, wrapping her arms tightly around herself, but he hugged her anyway, enveloping her in his arms. She fought a little, then gave in, not returning the hug, but resting her face in his shoulder, crying openly. Her whispered softly, "Do you remember the first time we met?"

She snorted derisively, and he said, "I'm serious. When you dropped your purse outside that coffee shop, and everyone just walked by?"

"Shoulder bag. Not a purse."

"When I helped you pick all of your things up, and you looked up and thanked me, I thought I was seeing an angel. I thought God had sent you to teach me a lesson for being such a bad person."

Tara muttered, "That's pretty extreme."

"The point is," he continued, pulling her hair away from her face and rocking her softly, "you made me want to be a better person. And I tried, so hard for you. But I only ended up hurting you more. And I will never forgive myself for that."

She pulled back, and he wiped the tears from her face.

"I shouldn't have come back."

"No, you shouldn't have."

"I won't anymore. I'll let you move on."

"Thank you."

She raised herself slightly, and softly kissed his cheek.

He moved for the door, and turned.

"No matter what, Tara? You'll always have the best of me."

She smiled sadly and said, "You'll always have all of me."


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