Dawn hurled her pen across the room in frustration. "There's nothing in these stupid books!" she shouted, noting with some satisfaction that the pen she had just thrown had embedded its point in the doorframe. For a few seconds, it would stay there, and then gravity would do its thing.
The pen fell to the floor with a small clatter. There. Reality, unlike books, did what you expected. Satisfied that one thing at least was right with the world, she turned back to her desk. Dawn would've expected that a book called Bowel Disorders and How to Deal With Them would've contained at least some information on the mysterious 'Butt Rot' that her science teacher wanted them to research. She was never going to get this homework finished. With Giles in England at the moment she couldn't go to him. That was what she normally did when she got stuck. Silly stuffy English librarian. Never around when she needed him.
"You okay?" a voice said behind her. She turned away from her desk to see who it was. Tara was standing in the bedroom doorway, holding Dawn's pen. Dawn had forgotten that the Scoobies were around this evening, she'd been so caught up in trying to get her homework finished on time for once. She guessed Tara was on her way to or from the bathroom, although it was always possible the others had nominated her to find out what little sister was shouting about.
"I have to find out about Butt Rot," Dawn said with a pout. "I got books out the school library but they've got nothing in. Now the school library's closed and Miss Fisher said this was the last chance I had to get my science homework in on time before I get a detention, and if I get a detention Mom and Buffy will both wig out."
Tara shrugged. "You could try the town library, that's always open late." She glanced at the clock. "I guess you've got another coupla hours before it closes."
That was actually quite a good idea. With one small problem. "Buffy'll flip if I go out on my own. She's gotten all over-protective lately, I wish I knew why."
"I guess she's worried about people using you to get to her. Experience shows she's got good reason to be." Damn. Why did the witch have to go and point that out? Until that point Dawn had managed to make it sound more like a burden than a gift.
"Will you take me to the library then?" she asked Tara, trying not to sound too hard done by. This was something she had developed quite a skill for. Pour on just enough to get the pity-vote, without making it obvious she was going for the pity-vote.
"Sorry," Tara said with a smile. "Xander's trying to persuade Buffy that we all should watch Coyote Ugly. Willow says I just have to see it. She says it has must-see dancing in it." She giggled excitedly as she finished speaking. What the hell was that about? And how could some dumb film be more important than her homework?
"Will you at least walk me to the cemetery?" Dawn asked as a truly obvious idea popped into her head.
"The cemetery?" Tara asked in disbelief. "Uh? Why?"
"Dah!" Dawn said, hoping she gave Tara the impression that it was an incredibly blonde thing for the blonde to say. "Spike is gonna take me to the library."
Tara's brow furrowed. Uh-oh, lecture on the way. "I'm not sure Spike would be Buffy's idea of a chaperone for you. He's not exactly on our side, is he?" Short lecture, huh?
"He'll look after me," Dawn said with a grin. "He knows if he doesn't his ass is staked."
"Dawn, it's not in the ass he gets staked."
"You obviously have no idea how much my sister hates this guy. She won't like me going there with him, but she'll know I'm safe. She'll freak, but she'll know I'm safe. And we can just go, like now. I can have the conversation with Buffy when I get back."
"You mean I can have the conversation with Buffy when I get back?" Tara said. Maybe Dawn was pushing a little too hard here. The witch certainly wasn't impressed.
"Yeah, maybe." Dawn said, feeling both sheepish and annoyed that Tara had spotted that. "But you'll get Willow on your side. I won't." Dawn fluttered her eyes, hoping against hope that it would work. "Tara, I really need to get this homework done. If y'all are too busy watching some dumb film, then I need Spike. Giles is in England, Mom's at the Gallery. It's Spike or detention."
"You sure you don't have a crush on him?" Tara asked. "You seem mighty set on spending the evening with him."
Dawn blushed. "No. Course I don't."
Tara grinned. Damn. Dead giveaway, obviously. Dawn only had to hope that Tara didn't go round telling everyone. That was all she needed. Buffy would so wig out at her having a crush on a Vampire. "I won't tell, don't worry. And I'll take you there. But you have to tell Buffy we're going first."
Dawn groaned.
* * *
Dawn stomped along the street, knowing full well that Tara was having to rush to keep up. Why did Buffy always have to complicate things? It just wasn't fair.
"It could've gone a lot worse, you know," Tara called after her.
"She didn't have to make me feel that small," Dawn retorted. "She always does that. Like I'm a 6 year old who doesn't know anything. And you know what's worse? She wouldn't have been half as nasty if the rest of you hadn't been there."
"She's just worried about you," Tara said as she caught up. At least Dawn knew Tara understood. She couldn't quite explain how, but she knew the witch did. "At least she let you go."
"Can't believe I had to fight to do homework."
"People have died for a lot less in Sunnydale."
"People have died for breathing in Sunnydale, like that makes me feel any better."
* * *
"Well well well," Spike said as the two girls walked into the crypt. "A Sapphic Sorceress and Summers the Second." Dawn shivered and felt her heart rate increase a little. Suddenly, with Spike around, things seemed a little better. She had to face it sooner or later - she was smitten. "I can see I'm in for an easy ride. It's obviously not something you need big sis to beat me into doing." And so the magic was ruined. Dawn hated anyone who reminded her she was the younger sister. People she was infatuated with who did that she hated doubly.
"I need help with my homework," Dawn said with a pout. "Well, no. That's not quite right," she said after a brief pause. "I have to go to the library to do my homework. I need a bodyguard in case a big ugly decides to eviscerate me."
"Eviscerate, eh?" Spike said with a leer. "Posh word for a young bird like you."
Dawn raged inside. It seemed even Spike couldn't stay clear of the age put-downs. She raised her right fist and extended her middle finger boldly. "Spin on it, Dead-boy," she spat. "My sister's the Slayer, I know all sorts of icky words. I probably know the words for everything you ever did to people when you were bad."
She felt Tara's hand on her shoulder. "That's probably not quite true," the Witch said to her quietly. "Some things are too icky for Buffy to think about."
"Ooh!" Dawn said, deciding that the best way to make Spike forget that she'd just insulted him in anger was to suddenly forget she was angry. "Can you teach me those words then Spike?"
"As well as help you with your homework?" Spike said thoughtfully, pursing his lips. "After calling me 'Dead-boy' like that, you'd have to come up with something good to persuade me to help you in the first place."
Dawn imagined for a moment that Tara would be giving the back of her head a condescending 'Well done Dawn' look at this point. Then she decided that Tara wouldn't actually be that mean. She really had to stop judging everyone as if they were Buffy. Spike was right though, Dawn did need to make it up to him. "I could tell you how to drive my sister nuts," she said.
The blond vampire pursed his lips again as he mulled it over. "Alright," he said. "But that only gets me for bodyguard duty. No icky words."
Dawn turned about and smiled sweetly at Tara. "Thanks for bringing me. You can go watch ugly coyotes now."
"You're watching Coyote Ugly?" Spike asked with sudden interest as Tara turned to leave. "You'll like that," he said with a chuckle. "The dancing especially. I don't suppose there's any chance you could bring it here before it goes back to the video store? I wouldn't mind watching it again."
"Sorry Spike," Tara said with a snide look. Maybe the witch could be mean after all! "Xander rented it, you'd have to ask him." She turned and left.
"So," Spike said, clapping his hands together, "the Library, huh? What are we researching? McCarthyism? Roanoke? The History of Barbie?"
"Butt rot," Dawn said unhappily. "Our teacher seems to want to gross us out. You should see some of the stuff I've read about already."
"Can't help you there," Spike said. "We Vampires aren't big on farting. It's only when we eat real food, you know? Shame really, I used to have so much fun as a kid dropping stinkies. I almost made my cousin throw up once." He grinned proudly for a moment before his face became business-like again. "You're right kid, you need a library. And we'd better get a move on so's we can check the worst witch gets out of the cemetery okay. I'm not risking the wrath of a redhead by letting her special friend get unlucky."
"It's okay," Dawn said, rolling her eyes. "You can call Tara Willow's girlfriend in front of me, I do know about that stuff." She decided to let Spike off for that one. There was this whole thing going on about who did and didn't know about Willow and Tara, so everyone had to be careful who they mentioned it in front of. Spike wasn't exactly the type to keep a secret out of the goodness of his heart, but she was prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt. He was yummy after all.
Spike pulled on his leather trench coat. Dawn suddenly found she was licking her lips. As he turned to face her she fought the urge to blush, and became all too aware of the blood rushing to her cheeks. By some incredible quirk of luck, the Vampire didn't notice. "C'mon then kid," he said. "Let's go do some homework."
* * *
Spike hesitated as they got to the Library entrance. Dawn turned and looked at him. What was this? He was gonna just walk her there and then leave? Not if Dawn had anything to say about it, he wasn't. She grabbed his hand and tugged it. "Come on," she said. "Let's go in."
The blond Vampire held his ground and looked at the building nervously. "Can't," he mumbled sheepishly.
Dawn looked at the library. It wasn't that old a building, but it had obviously been designed to look old. It was done in the same sort of style as the town hall in Back to the Future - at least, it always seemed like that to Dawn. There was a motto in Latin across the doors, which Dawn guessed could be slightly off-putting to someone with intellectual esteem issues, but there was certainly nothing that could intimidate a Vampire. "What is it?" she asked.
"That Latin - 'Ingredere Discipulus'," Spike said. "It means 'Enter Student'. I'm not a Student, so I don't have an invite. I can't go in." What? Like a phrase chiselled into stone could stop a Vampire.
Dawn yanked on Spike's arm, dragging him forward. He stumbled and then stopped dead, grunting as if he'd walked into a wall. Shit. Damn Vampire technicalities. "That's totally f-"
"Language," Spike said chidingly, interrupting her. He thumped the invisible barrier angrily with his vist. "Fucking hell!" he hissed. Typical. But then, Spike's occasional humorous hypocrisy was one of the things that made him cute. Or was that cuter? He turned away, muttering to himself. Shame he was wearing the long coat, it hid his butt.
"How about if I ask you to help me study?" Dawn said. "Would that work?" No-good stupid rule book. Three years and Dawn still wasn't entirely sure when a Vampire was and wasn't invited in.
"Doubt it," Spike grumbled. "Bloody books. I think my lack of real will to join in the study would get in the way of that." Oh right, so now Spike wasn't interested in helping her out. Charming. Stupid dumb cockney rocker wannabe. At least that's what Xander called him - when he wasn't around, of course.
"If you hate books," Dawn asked as a thought occurred to her, "how come you can read Latin?"
Spike sighed. "Any Vampire who's been around more than a couple of decades knows Latin. I think it must be something in the blood. You hit about fifteen years of being undead and all of a sudden you get bored. Most of the more entertaining spells and rituals require a knowledge of Latin."
Another thought edged its way into Dawn's mind. "I got an idea," she said, striding purposefully through the library entrance. She walked boldly towards the main desk, swinging her bag confidently. "Excuse me," she said to the Clerk.
The clerk was a young woman. Well, a woman. She was older than Buffy or Willow, but younger than... well, older people. This could put her anywhere between 21 and 40, as far as Dawn was concerned. Between Buffy and Mom was this whole grey area where ages went all vague. Silly generation gaps. Whoever thought that idea up? The woman was clearly not happy about doing the evening shift. "What?" she asked grumpily, as if being of help was the last thing on her mind. Couldn't she just take a pill or something? Like she was the only woman on the planet to get PMS.
Dawn giggled. Putting on the silly giggly girl act opened all sorts of doors, and lead to getting away with things that would otherwise land her in therapy. "My brother is outside. He's kinda...challenged." She forced a nervous laugh. "For some reason, he seems to think he's too stupid to be allowed in a library. He wanted me to check it's okay for him to come in." She pointed at the doors. Spike was leaning against the outer door-frame of the entrance.
The clerk shrugged. "What do I care if he comes in or not?"
"Please?" Dawn asked, fluttering her eyelids. "We're trying to encourage him to learn more. It would mean a lot if I could get him to help me with my homework. Can he come in?"
The woman took a long sigh and rolled her eyes. "Sure, whatever."
Dawn tried not to chuckle as she saw Spike flinch as he lost his balance and almost fell through the doorframe. She turned back to the clerk and smiled sweetly. "Thank you," she said, before rushing over to Spike and grabbing him by the arm. "Sorry, I had to tell her you were a retard to get you in." She led him firmly towards the reference section.
* * *
"Butt rot... butt rot... butt rot..." Dawn mused to herself as she flicked through the Encyclopaedia Britannica. She turned to Spike, who had deposited himself on a chair at the end of the bookcase. "You think it'll be under Butt, or Rot?"
Spike shrugged. Dawn could see a flippant comeback composing itself in his mind, and snarled at him. "Well," he said, "I guess it's easier to check BU before RO. I mean, there can't be much between Bua and Buz."
"What's a Bua?" Dawn asked him, her brain suddenly finding itself in No-Bullshit mode.
"It's the noise a Vampire makes when they jump out on someone. You know, the beginning of the buahahahaha evil laugh thing. It's a..." he paused, biting his lip while his brain went off to hunt through what Dawn figured must be a pretty stunted vocabulary. "Trademark. You know. No, I guess it's actually a stereotype. Not that I really care." He grinned smugly. "And in case you don't already know, Buz is the noise your sister's favourite toy makes."
Dawn pulled a face. "You're gross. You shouldn't be talking to 14 year olds about vibrators and masturbation."
Spike laughed. "Yes, because that would be wrong. Maybe even evil. Oh look, I'm a Vampire. Isn't that lucky?"
"Buttonwood... Buttress... Butty... Bollocks!" Dawn slammed the book shut in frustration.
"Now now," Spike chided gently.
"I don't need a lecture on language from you," Dawn shot back as she stomped back to the bookcase.
The Vampire cocked his head to one side. "Was just gonna warn you off using the more English swear words. If Joe McCarthy was still about he'd think you were being Un-American."
Dawn made a point of ignoring him as she carried Reg-Sin back to the table. She said nothing as she carefully leafed through the heavy volume. She pretended he wasn't there as she diligently scanned the entries on Rot and finally read the entry on Rot, Butt. "A tree fungus?" she blurted loudly in disbelief. "It's a fucking tree fungus?"
"We're in a library," Spike said quietly in a mocking sing-song voice. "You'll get thrown out."
Dawn showed him her middle finger then carried the Encyclopaedia back to the bookcase. "Come on," she said.
"Where are we going? You find out it's a tree fungus and that's it? We're leaving?"
"No, Mr I'm So Clever. Actually we're going to find the Botany Section, or Biology, or whatever. Somewhere there's a book about Butt Rot with my name on it."
"What, like A History Of Butt Rot Since The Dawn Of Time?"
"Ha. Ha. Ha. Watch how much I laugh. Come on, we've got to go find the right section."
"You'll go outside if there's another disturbance like that," the Clerk said. She had appeared at the end of an aisle just along from Spike sat. "I'm sure teaching your dumb brother is frustrating, but there's to be no shouting and no swearing." Before Dawn had a chance to snap a reply back the woman turned on her heel and vanished back up the aisle.
"I told you so," Spike said with a grin as he got up.
"Bite me," Dawn muttered, knowing full well that what with the chip in Spike's head, it was one of the cruellest things she could've said.
* * *
"Huh?" Dawn said as they found the Biology Section. The area consisted of a large table with numerous chairs around it, enclosed by several tall and imposing bookcases. It almost seemed like a room in its own right. There was no one else there, but a large teddy-bear sat in the middle of the table. It was very very cute, and aside from the fact it looked totally out of place, Dawn fell in love with it immediately.
"Hmmm," Spike said as he followed her in. "The old Teddy-Bear in the Library trick."
Dawn turned around to look at him. "And again. Huh?" Did some Vampires go senile after a hundred years or so, or anything like that? Certainly it sometimes seemed like Spike was like that.
"Well," Spike said, gesturing at the teddy-bear, "it's so obviously a trap of some sort, isn't it?" A teddy-bear a trap? The predictable phrase was usually 'Now I've heard everything', but Dawn knew that was a silly phrase to use in Sunnydale. Fate always had a habit of proving it wrong.
"Right, so you're saying that a Vampire or Demon found out what my homework was, then went and left a booby-trapped teddy-bear in the right library section as a means of getting to the Slayer when I finally went there to read up on Butt Rot?"
"It could happen," Spike said, sounding slightly hurt at Dawn's scepticism. "I know it sounds a little far out, but surely you can't be too careful. That Glory bint seems pretty fixated on trashing your sister as often as possible. Obsession can make you do pretty way-out stuff."
"So, assuming it is a trap of some sort," Dawn began.
"Could be there to spy on you," Spike added.
"Which would be included in 'of some sort'," Dawn countered. "Assuming it is, what am I supposed to do. Do I say to Miss Fisher 'Sorry Miss, I didn't do my homework because there might have been a booby-trapped teddy-bear in the library?'"
"Of course not," Spike said dismissively. "You could always tell her a demon ate it. Your homework, not the teddy-bear." Dawn snarled at him. This time her snarl wasn't just an expression, it had sound too. "I was kidding!" Spike protested quickly. "What we do is perform a ritual of revelation on the teddy-bear. That'll tell us if there's anything untoward about it."
Dawn smiled. She wasn't entirely sure if her smile was meant to be genuine or sarcastic - the stress of the situation was getting to the point where she was working on instinct rather than premeditated pubescent behaviour. "If there's nothing untoward about it do I get to take it home?"
"Technically, you know, that would be stealing," Spike pointed out. "Tell you what, I'll steal it for you, and then you can take it home." He grinned in a way that reminded Dawn he did have a definite evil streak. "After all, I'm just a dumb retard who doesn't know better."
Dawn frowned. "Perhaps we should focus on this ritual. Not that there's going to be anything wrong with the teddy-bear. It's just a teddy-bear."
"Kid, this is Sunnydale, remember? Hellmouth... Badass demons and Vampires...Me...Go find the Occult Section and look for a book called 'The Wasp and The Cuckoo'. There's a ritual in there we can use. Come to think of it, it's probably not called the Occult Section. Try Comparative Mythology."
"'The Wasp and The Cuckoo'? What kind of name is that for a spell book?" What the hell did wasps and cuckoos have to do with magic? One stung, the other did the avian equivalent of abandoning babies on doorsteps. Neither seemed like the sort of noble animals normally associated with , well,magic.
"It's not a spell book," Spike muttered. Dawn was sure he sounded impatient with her. It was hard to tell, because Spike always sounded impatient. The big question was more if he sounded any more impatient than usual. "It's the deranged mumblings of a head case who ate a few too many interesting mushrooms back in the 1700s. It just so happens that it has a rather nifty version of an old druidic ritual of disclosure hidden amongst all the garbage. I only found it because I read the whole damn thing once when I was bored. Dru used to have a copy kicking around."
"Just so's I've got this right," Dawn began. Telling the clerk that Spike was retarded didn't seem far from the truth sometimes. "We're in a library, and you're gonna perform a ritual written by some mushroom-crazed nutter to find out if that teddy-bear's safe before I do my homework."
Spike nodded. "Beats just sitting here," he said. "Besides, I thought you wanted to take the teddy-bear home."
Dawn pursed her lips to one side. "I was more thinking that the important thing was getting my homework done."
Spike pouted at her. All of a sudden his face looked incredibly cute, sending a shiver down her spine. Damn crushes, why did they have to do things like that. Now she was walking round to the occult or whatever section, and grabbing the book. Just like that! All because he pulled a funny face and looked cute. "Thank you," he said to her as she handed him the book. Why was she fetching the book anyway. Why couldn't he do it?
She sighed. "Ten minutes tops before you prove how bad an idea this is," she said. "Can I do anything? I mean, I don't want to be the one to do the ritual. Well, no, I do, but I don't want have my first ritual with you watching. But I want to help. If I can." Jeez, could she babble any more? Damn crushy shivers.
"Well," Spike muttered, searching through the book, "I guess it would be better to use your blood than mine." What?
"Waitaminute!" Dawn jumped in. "You didn't say anything about blood. My blood? Why can't we use yours?"
Spike shrugged. "Undead blood is less potent. Anyway, it only needs a little pin-prick and a few smears on the table. It's not like we need to slice into one of your veins or anything. You got a pencil?"
Dawn pulled her pencil case out of her bag and handed it to him. "You're going to pin-prick my finger with a pencil? That can't be hygienic." This was getting crazier by the minute.
The Vampire rolled his eyes. "No, I'm gonna mark out the table with it. Jeez, I mention blood once and all of a sudden you've got a fixation."
"I've got a fixation because I'm worried when a Vampire mentions blood? That makes sense."
"Now," Spike said, ignoring her comment and walking around the table and making marks around the teddy-bear, "I'm marking out 8 points. You have to alternate around them, saliva on one, blood on the next, saliva, blood, saliva, blood, saliva, blood."
"I have to spit?" Dawn asked. "Cool."
"You don't have to spit," Spike replied as he finished drawing on the table, "all it needs is a little smear, same as with the blood. Of course, if you like the idea of gobbing on the table in a public place, go ahead."
Dawn shrugged. General defacing of a civic building seemed to appeal to the teenage rebel in her enough to make actual spitting unnecessary. "We need something sharp to pin-prick my finger with."
"Not a problem," Spike said, and then let out a familiar growl as his face shifted to Vampire mode. "Nice sharp tooth there for you," he said before holding his mouth open. Right. And if Dawn just happened to bleed a bit into his mouth then he got a free taste test. Not exactly the best idea in the world, and yet... Somewhere at the back of her mind an icky thought lurked that said it would be kinda cool. She shivered and pushed the thought away. Vampiric eroticism was a bit much for a fourteen year old.
The young girl gritted her teeth and then moved a shaking hand towards Spike's mouth. She winced briefly before the fact, then brought her index finger down sharply on one of his lower canines. The Vampire flinched away suddenly, growling in pain. "Bloody hell!" he complained, clutching his head, "I didn't do anything! You cut yourself on my tooth." His face eased back to its human guise, but remained dominated by a scowl.
Dawn tried not to laugh and concentrated on squeezing her fingertip to make it bleed. Sometimes the plight of him and his chip seemed so pathetic. Maybe that was what attracted her to him in the first place. More likely though it was that bone structure, the I-could-give-a-shit attitude, the British accent and that oh so cute butt.
She walked around the table, smearing spit with one hand and blood with the other. "Do you have a band-aid?" she asked as she finished, "I think I made a bit more than a pin-prick."
"Oh yes," the Vampire replied drily, "given my lifestyle I'm always desperate to help wounds heal."
Dawn snarled then sucked on her fingertip. "What's next then?" If dancing naked was involved, she was leaving. A circle of female Wiccans was one thing, but she was not dancing naked in front of the Supreme Vampire Perv of the Universe, no matter how cute his butt was. On the other hand, if he was naked too...Damn. Why did some thoughts have to be so icky, but not icky. It was interesting, but... icky.
"Dancing naked," Spike replied.
Dawn blushed, not knowing where to look. All sorts of weird hot icky and not icky thoughts started rushing around inside her head, making her heart pound. Abso-fucking-lutely terrifying, and yet...She shuddered.
"I'm kidding!" Spike said, laughing at her reaction. "I may be bad but I'm not that bad." Dawn found herself slightly disappointed at that comment, and wished that she wasn't. "We have to walk round once clockwise, and once anti-clockwise, humming while we do so. It has to be a fairly continuous hum, or it won't work."
"So we have to make noise in a library." Dawn liked the idea of that. Although it did raise the possibility of them getting thrown out again. "And you're in America, remember. We say counter-clockwise, not anti-clockwise. Try and fit in."
"Yeah, of course. Okay, we've got to get the rhythm of this right, so just keep counting in your head. One two one two one two one two. Like that. I'll watch you and keep my paces the same size as yours. We have to stay opposite each other. Ready?"
Dawn nodded, then started to hum. She tried to hum quietly but her mouth seemed to have other ideas. Spike watched her as she stepped slowly round the table, and she watched him watch her. He was watching her strides, so he didn't see the intensity of her gaze. She looked him up and down slowly, taking in every detail of him. This probably wasn't healthy at all, but it was cool, again in that almost icky way.
They turned about, and started walking the other way around the table. Dawn realised she was sweating. She could feel the magical energies building up as the spell took shape. It was totally intense. Steam...or was it smoke? started rising from the table from each of the 8 points that she had marked. Her hum was really loud now, and that had nothing to do with her. They completed the second circle just as the clerk ran into the area.
"What in God's name do you think you're doing?" she shouted.
Dawn looked up nervously, her guilt caught in the headlights of the clerk's accusing stare. "I.. I.. We.." she stammered.
"Oh shit," Spike said. The total lack of humour or sarcasm in his voice made Dawn look round at him. "We did the wrong damn ritual," he said as in a brief flash the teddy-bear became a small pile of ash.
"You what?" Dawn shrieked. "We what? What did we do then? An ancient druidic ritual of teddy-bear incineration?"
"You did a dark ritual in my library?" the clerk asked in disbelief. "You can get the hell out right now!"
"Dismemberment," Spike said. "Right here on the opposite page. I dunno how I did it, I just read out and followed the wrong set of instructions." If it wasn't for the anger and fear she was feeling then, Dawn would've probably found his sudden meekness attractive. "We've just performed a ritual to summon a Salivating Kahrac Demon. It'll hunt down and dismember the owner of the object at the centre of the circle. In other words, the owner of the teddy-bear."
"So some evil demon is gonna appear in the middle of nowhere, hunt down some innocent kid and then rip them apart." Dawn asked, wondering how more screwed up things could get.
"Pretty much," Spike replied. He almost sounded regretful. "Except for the middle of nowhere part. It's more gonna appear in the middle of that table in front of us."
The library clerk whimpered and fainted.
"And it'll kill anyone who tries to stop it, right?" Dawn asked.
"You catch on good, kid."
"Can you take it?"
Spike laughed. "Me? A lowly Vampire take on a Kahrac Demon?" Dawn found she was shaking. A demon was about to pop into existence. She should be running away but she seemed to be paralysed with fear. She watched Spike's expression change as he realised how scared she was. "I doubt it," he said, "But I can try." Suddenly she realised one of the reasons why she had a massive crush on him. He was an evil bastard at times, but he was an evil bastard that looked out for her. So what if that made her crush little more than swooning hero-worship.
"NnThng..." Her mouth had gone dry. The lighthearted fun of earlier had disappeared, and suddenly things were deadly serious. She swallowed hard, then tried to speak. "Anything I can do?" she asked.
"Get Madame Book Gestapo out of here, and then get away. If I time this right, I'll just snap the demon's neck as soon as it appears. If I can't do that, we may be up shit creek."
Dawn nodded and grabbed the clerk under the arms. As she dragged the woman out of the way, she saw a shadowy blur appear in the centre of the table. It was very tall, and had all sorts of grim looking spiky bits sticking out. She pulled the clerk clear just as the dim blur rapidly coalesced into an equally huge, equally spiky brown slavering demon.
Spike leapt forward quickly, grabbing for the Kahrac's head. A spiny claw batted him into the far wall. Dawn gasped as she saw the number of holes in the Vampire's chest that were oozing blood. The demon ignored him, and opened its jaws...and opened...and opened...The demon's jaws were huge. They just seemed to unfurl. And it's drool...Dawn could see straight away why it was called a Salivating Kahrac Demon, and not just a Kahrac demon. Its drool was slopping out of its mouth at quite a rate. Where it touched the library carpet it hissed, and smoky fumes started to curl upwards. With a sudden and on the whole incomprehensible movement, it slammed its jaws shut, swallowing a sizeable chunk of the bookcase in front of it. Dawn couldn't believe it. Those jaws had returned to their original size in half the time it had taken them to expand...and crushed a sizeable volume of paper between them.
Spike grunted in pain then pushed himself away from the wall. As he staggered towards the demon it paused and shuddered. Its throat muscles seemed to be in spasm. Dawn started to snigger. The dumb stupid demon had taken such a huge mouthful that it couldn't swallow and was now choking. The spines that covered its skin started rattling violently. Spike looked at them in horror then dived across the room at Dawn, landing flat on top of her. She had no time to complain or even flinch before every spine in the demon's back was ejected at high speed by its final death throes. Once the immediate danger was over she realised Spike was lying on top of her. The un-icky icky thoughts came back, and she found herself blushing again. As he slowly lifted himself up, wincing continuously at the numerous wounds he had sustained, she looked him in the eye. "I am never ever doing magic with you again. Ever," she said, almost convinced that she meant it.
* * *
"Ow!" Spike said as he limped along the sidewalk. Dawn had just pulled yet another spine out of his back. "That smarts."
"You said that about the last one, and the one before that, and the one before that. Before that, I think you said 'bloody hell' a lot." Dawn said. She was enjoying this. After all the twisted teenage angst she had been through this evening, on top of the mortal danger that was just another day in the life of the Slayer's Sister, she was glad to get a little payback. "You should count yourself lucky," she added. "You're not the one who has to explain to Miss Fisher why they haven't done the homework."
"Tell her - Ow! - Tell her the truth."
"What, that a Kahrac Demon ate every unlent book on tree fungi in the civic library? I'm sure that'd go down well."
"I'm sure the clerk will corroborate your story," Spike said with a slight grin, this time managing not to yelp when Dawn pulled another spine out. "Once she becomes coherent again, that is." The clerk had been very lucky. When Dawn had dragged her out of the biology section, she had propped the clerk up against a bookcase. That bookcase had shielded her from every spine except one, which had pierced her shoulder. Spike had assured Dawn that the wound was not serious and that they should just anonymously call 911, so that was all they had done for the poor woman. "On the other hand," Spike continued, "You could just use this." He slipped a hand into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a small book.
"The Perils of Butt Rot - A Guide to Tree Fungi," Dawn read off the cover. She looked at Spike in amazement.
"I pocketed it while you were fetching the other book," he said with a grin. "Just in case, you understand."
"Thanks," Dawn said with a warm smile. Oh yes, teenage angst or no teenage angst, the crush had just gotten worse. A lot worse. "Although I was looking forward to seeing the look on Miss Fisher's face when I told her a Salivating Kahrac Demon ate my homework."
